Fostering FriendshipsThe Ninth Stress Management Technique
in your Relaxed-and-At-Ease Fostering friendships is on my Relaxed-and-At-Ease Guide to Stress Management Techniques list because, quite honestly, without feeling supported by friends and having fun with them I think I'd be a lot more stressed. If I'm REALLY upset about something, I call a friend who listens and helps me work things out and see things differently. Then I let go of what ever it is that's upset me and move on. Without fostering friendships - calling friends, making plans to get together, meeting new people who become new friends... I wouldn't have the wonderful friends that I have and I think my life would be a lot lonelier and... ...I'd probably feel a lot more stressed. Fostering Friendships Is highly recommended because... Friends are fun to eat meals with. They share good news and bad. They help us see things differently. Friends light up our lives with laughter and play. They help us know that we're not alone. Friends are GREAT!
All we have to do is... So what do you do when your friends seem more stressful than supportive or fun? Sometimes we outgrow friendships. It can be that at first someone is a great friend... then you change or your friend changes - and being with her, or him, just isn't fun anymore. And some people who are really negative can actually feel stressful. It's okay for friendships to either evolve or end. You can try talking it out and see if you both want to grow together... but if not you may want to not see that person as often - if at all. Is it hard for you to find friends? Sometimes it can be hard to find a friend - especially a really good one. And people with social anxiety can have a really difficult time finding friends - and I feel for you if that's your experience. In my own way, I feel pretty shy, and certainly uncomfortable, in new situations - so I can imagine how hard it would be to have that experience amplified. My recommendation is to find a structured experience - like a class or something like that - where you can meet people and get to know them over time. Spiritual communities are also a great place to get to know people over time - they're somewhat safe and easy to attend. If you keep going back, then you'll keep seeing the same faces and at some point, you may actually feel comfortable talking to a person with a friendly face. However, you do it, I encourage you to find a way - good FRIENDS are worth it! Where I've met my friends...
Having friends in the pipeline... Because I'm "slow to warm up," it can take me years before I actually think of someone as a friend rather than an acquaintance. So, I've decided I need to keep meeting new people. I've made it an intention. However you do it... Fostering friendships is worth it. What a gift our friends are.
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