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Emotions and Feelings
What to do Them?
How to work with your emotions and feelings... I can't tell you how many times I've heard from clients... "I'm afraid if I let myself feel that, I'll never stop." They could be talking about any emotion including sadness, anger or fear. The truth is... when we actually experience our emotions and feelings, the process is like a wave. We begin, it can get really intense, and then it subsides. No one has ever NOT stopped crying or expressing their anger when they really do it! If you're not used to asking yourself - how are you feeling today - and feeling your emotions is new for you, I can imagine you could feel afraid, silly, self-conscious, embarrassed, or something else. You're not alone. Most people I know have at some point felt uncomfortable experiencing their emotions. However, with practice, like anything, it gets easier. - Identify your feelings. You can ask yourself everyday.... How are You Feeling Today?
- Experience your emotions and feelings - Click here for a list and description of expressive and creative tools so you can learn how to express your emotions and feelings and understand why you're having the feeling.
- Take the actions that your feelings are asking for - here are some of my recommendations...
- Joy - If you're feeling joy - just enjoy it and let if flow!
- Love - If you're feeling love, share it with the world!
- Excitement - If you're feeling excitement, identify what you're excited about, this gives you great information about your Purpose what you enjoy doing, and what matters to you.
- Anger - If you're feeling angry, identify what you perceive happened that was an injustice or a wrong and decide what action you can take that will transform what happened.
Explore the healthy venting anger process. Sometimes anger arises because something about our current situation reminds us about an unresolved experience from our childhood which we can't do anything about now... except work through our own feelings. Write an unsent letter or go on an imaginary journey back in time where you as an adult right the wrong and protect your inner child. If you think you have an anger management problem, try out these
anger management techniques
from someone who's used them and helped others with them. - Fear - If you're feeling scared... assess the situation. If you're physically in danger, leave the situation if possible or do what makes the most sense.
If you're emotionally threatened, you may also want to leave the situation. However, assess the situation. For information, about defensiveness, click here. If you're feeling scared about doing something new... Here are some of things I've learned that help me... - Do it anyway. Of course new things are scary - they're unfamiliar. Once we do them, they're a lot less scary.
- Breathe - In Chinese Medicine it is said that fear is excitement without the breath. I can't tell you how many times I've felt afraid of something, breathed, and became aware of how excited I am about it.
- Ask a friend to do it with you. Some things are a lot easier with a friend.
Please don't let fear stop you from doing something you really want to do. Unless it is life threatening... You will survive it!!! You could be triggered by something that's happening because it reminds you of a scary situation when you were a child. If you can stay and work through it safely, healing can take place. - Shame- If you're feeling shame, ask yourself, "did I do something that is truly wrong?" If you answer yes to this question, find a way to learn from your experience and commit to not doing it again.
If you didn't answer yes, then toxic shame has been triggered. This is the passing on of shame from one generation to another - and you probably learned it or absorbed it in your family of origin. It needs to be healed. The best way is to find a practitioner or therapist or trusted friend who you REALLY feel safe with. And within the safety of that relationship, when the shame arises, let the other person know, and feel it in her or his presence. As long as the other person is able to hold a field of compassion and respect, the shame can heal and no longer disrupt your life. - Sadness - If you're feeling sad, you need time to process your loss. Take the time you need.
Be alone if you need to. Cry if you need to... and let the feelings flow. If you truly feel it, over time, the sadness will lessen and you won't want to be alone anymore. - Surprise - If you're surprised, experience it and let your body come back to neutral.
The biggest challenge with emotions and feelings is that most of us are not used to really asking ourselves, "How are You Feeling Today?" Most of us ignore our feelings or disregard them. The study of
psychoimmunology
looks at the impact of thoughts and emotions on our immune system.
Candace Pert's book helps us understand this relationship.
Why is it so hard to experience your emotions and feelings? If you're still wondering, contact me... I'd be happy to help you with this.
Go from Emotions and Feelings to How are you Feeling Today?
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