How to Express Your Feelings

Learn how to express your feelings as well as experience and identify them...

When you're all worked up about something, you can stuff it with food or alcohol; numb yourself with TV or computer games; go to sleep; or do whatever it is you do when you just don't want to deal with it.

However, as I wrote on the How are you Feeling Today page, most of the time, this doesn't help anything.

So... I recommend that you learn how to relax and try some of the following exercises to help you learn how to express your feelings as well as name, experience, and feel your feelings....

Journaling exercises

1. Stream of consciousness - just write and don't stop.
2. Mind map - put the word "feelings" in the center of the page with a circle around it and lines coming out from the circle with any words that come up for you.
3. Unsent letter - If you're feeling upset with someone (who is alive or has passed on), write a letter that expresses anything you want... just do NOT send it!

1. Pick out colors that resonate and draw what ever you want - let yourself just scribble and express yourself - or create an exact representation of an image.
2. Feel the sensations in your body and draw an image or picture that matches those sensations.There is a great book I love that I've used to do personal process with art. It's called Visual Journaling: Going Deeper than Words

Expressive movement

Because I love expressive movement so much, I have a separate page dedicated to it. Click this link to find out more.

If you feel upset with someone else and feel you have to talk with him or her, think about your intention. Often people just vent at the other person and say their "expressing themselves."

However, this can be damaging to the relationship. If you care about the other person, thing about why you want to have the conversation and how will it enhance your relationship.

If you just want to tell the other person what she or he did wrong and you don't want to have a conscious two-way conversation, you may want to consider an unsent letter first... and then see if you still need to talk to that person.

Click this link for more about importance of communication.

How to Experience Your Feelings

But to fully experience your feelings is something slightly different and nothing to be afraid of.

To experience your feelings, breathe into the sensation, let yourself do the movement that wants to happen or make the sound or speak the words that feels in alignment the sensation.

If you typically "act out" your feelings... for example yell at someone, throw something, drive fast, or leave the room...

To actually experience your feelings, you will need to not act on them, and instead sit and feel them. Notice your sensations and breath into the sensations.

You may cry tears, stomp around the room, or shake uncontrollably.

If you ride the wave of the emotion, it will work itself through you.

However, if it seems to you like the feeling has lasted more than about fifteen minutes and you're concerned, you probably need some support learning how to express your feelings.

If you count backwards from 100, spell super long words, or add up to 300 by sevens you will activate the logical part of your brain and get pulled out of the feeling part. Or if you're really stuck, use any of the non-harmful distractions to "numb" yourself... like watching TV or reading a book.

Then you may want to consider finding a good psychotherapist, counselor, or acupuncturist because either an old unresolved feeling has been activated or you're experiencing an energy imbalance.

And as always, don't hesitate to contact me.