Nonverbal Communication

I was not surprised to learn that, according to a study done in the 1970s, nonverbal communication is 93% of all communication - this includes our -

• tone of voice,
• facial expressions,
• posture,
• use of space,
• hand gestures,
• and full body movement.

However, I recently read an article about nonverbal communication that makes a strong argument for the importance of words in communication. You might want to check it out - I thought it was very interesting.

Regardless of the percentages of verbal to non verbal communication, combined together, the words we use, how we say them, and what's happening with our body create the message we are transmitting to the other person...

So becoming aware of your own and the other person's tone and body language can help you communicate better.

Click here for a link to a page that gives a good body language interpretation overview that can help you understand what the body is communicating with it's movements.

No matter what it or anyone else says, for good communication I highly recommend three things:

1. Become aware of your own movement, body posture, and tone of voice.

   Use mindful movement to increase your awareness of what's happening in your body.

   Use the body language overview in the link above to increase your awareness of what you do and wonder into what your movements mean to you.

2. Remember that other cultures have different movement cues. Don't assume you know what a movement means to another person.
3. Don't assume you know what a movement or tone of voice means to another person - EVER. You might be right... but check it out.

To check out what another person's nonverbal communication means to them, the language I often use is...

"I noticed that you crossed your arms when I was talking about our money situation. The story I have about that is that you're angry with me for spending money on a new computer. Is that accurate?"

So basically you fill in the blanks:

I noticed that you ____________________, when ______________________. The story I have about that is ______________________. Is that accurate?

This helps bring clarity to any conversation and can increase communication.

If you're bringing to the other person's attention something he or she feels protective about, defensive behaviors might get activated.

If you want to know more about what to do when your or the other person gets defensive, read the Barrier to Effective Communication page.