Stop Worrying

The Sixth Stress Management Approach

In your Relaxed-and-At-Ease Guide to
Stress Reduction

Pure worrying is a type of repetitive or stuck negative thinking focused in the future.

For example some people worry about...

• How they're going to pay the bills next month.

• What's going to happen at the meeting tomorrow.

• Whether or not their first date this weekend will go well and "if he or she will like me."

If you worry about what other people are thinking it could be because you feel bad - or guilty - about something you did...

... And you're projecting onto the other person your negative thoughts and feelings about yourself and your behavior.

In other words, if you think you said something stupid or hurtful, you may worry that the other person thinks what you said was stupid or hurtful...

If this is the case, you can use any of the ways listed below on how to stop worrying... and it would probably be helpful to "bring home the projection"

How to Stop Worrying

1. Get into the present moment.

   Mindfulness is the practice of noticing your experience - in this moment - without judgment. When you're here now...

   There is NOTHING to worry about because everything just is what it is in this moment. It may be pleasant or unpleasant - either way - all you can do is experience it... Or focus on something else.

2. Change your thinking.

   When you worry, you're focused on something other than what's happening now... And your thinking gets into a kind of rut or habit of negativity.

   When you intentionally change your thinking you can stop worrying by focusing on what you want to think about.

   However, this can be challenging at times because of negative beliefs and feelings associated with the negative thoughts. You might need to transform your negative beliefs.

3. Relax.

   If you're worrying, I recommend using a guided relaxation technique such as a guided meditation or body scan.

   However, even with guidance some people have a difficult time concentrating. If that's the case...

4. Journal.

   There are several good journaling techniques to help stop worrying.

5. Or shift your experience.

   If nothing else is working, change your environment. If you're inside, go outside. If you're alone, go to a mall or somewhere where there are people. Do something to change what you're doing.

6. Use affirmations.

   This is similar to changing your thinking and positive thinking. However, there are specific ways to use affirmations to help change your thinking.

Sometimes obsessive worrying can indicate a bigger problem.

Before wondering if you have a "bigger problem," it's important to know that being chronically stressed affects us physically and emotionally.

If you've been chronically stressed, because of the affect of stress on your brain, you may worry more than you would have if you didn't have chronic stress.

That being said... worrying about what other people are thinking or doing can indicate some type of paranoid thinking. In which case, the techniques listed above may not be helpful on their own.

Psychotherapy and other types of psychiatric treatment might also be needed.

If you're dealing with an anxiety disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder, I would encourage you to seek professional help as well. Check out this article to help you distinguish between "normal" worrying vs. worrying associated with an anxiety disorder.

Use your best judgment - to the best of your ability... and if you're not sure ask someone else to help you. No one should be alone with these kinds of challenges.

Go to How to Stop Worrying by Changing Your Thinking